The Angry Critic’s Top 5 Movie Snubs of 2012

A note from your host – Introducing AngryCritic

Hi movie fans – jmartin here.  Just wanted to take a second to introduce you to AngryCritic, one of our resident movie experts.  He’s also a little, well, angry.  Where as I am clearly the model of class and as genial as can be, my friend AngryCritic has a bit of a temper.  Imagine Jesse Eisenberg in Social Network crossed with Alec Baldwin’s character in Glengarry Glen Ross (if you don’t get that reference, YouTube it immediately).

Alec Baldwin Glengarry

As he provides his humble opinions, you will soon decipher them as the angry raging of a Republican scorned.  The 2012 election marked a very dark time for my friend, but his movie expertise cannot be denied, and he has certainly seen enough movies to justify his bold thoughts.  Readers can expect another unique perspective, sometimes different to my own, that will be sprinkled (and by sprinkled, I mean completely and utterly saturated with) right-wing philosophies and capitalist attitudes.  It is a difficult time to be a republican, so please forgive him if he uses horrifying vulgarities, calls you an idiot or completely rips apart what we all thought was a fantastic film, or performance.

Also, I beg you to argue with him when he says something ridiculous, in the same way I hope you call me an idiot when I do.  We both have a tendency to stray from the norm, and the type of reader we want certainly won’t shy away from letting us hear it.  He probably won’t care about or listen to what you say, but I certainly will.  He will, however, be happy to respond and tell you which democratic politician he thinks you are having relations with.

With that being said, I’ll hand it over to Mr Angry Critic and his latest movie thoughts.  We hope to hear more from him in the future.

Top 5 Movie Snubs of 2012.

Before we dive into my movie snubs I want to let you know that the term ‘Snubbed’ in this article is relative. It is entirely my opinion that the movies got snubbed, I don’t even know what they got snubbed from, sometimes it is the box office, sometimes it is critics, sometimes the academy. In all these movies did not get the love they deserved.

  1. The Dark Knight Rises

Now before you look at me with your thick rimmed glasses and turn your head sideways asking me “ Didn’t that movie set records for being popular? And isn’t popularity the opposite of snubbitry?” Shut up, this is not a popularity contest. If you would have told me that TDKR would not break records before it came out I would have had you lobotomized , because that would have been proof enough that you were not capable of a sane thought.

No, the snubbing that I am talking about is the academy. This. Movie. Got. Snubbed. Now I understand what everyone’s argument it going to be. “Just because it made money does not mean that it is what the academy is looking for, I mean look at Transformers 3.”(3 Nominations) I have always tried to argue with people about this. There seems to be an argument that big money does not equal good reviews and good reviews does not equal big money. I attribute this to the ‘Academy Awards’ being run by nerdy hipsters who were beat up as kids for watching David Lynch movies on repeat while talking about existentialism and bitching about Nixon. Whatever your argument is, TDKR was a fantastic movie, the scope was huge, the performances were adequate, and it was the most exciting movie of the year. I mean it stands at 87% at Rotten Tomatoes right now and is 7th in all time domestic. (Transformers is #15) Not a SINGLE Oscar nomination… Hell, I would have taken a best sound editing nomination, but no, greatness gets snubbed.

  1. Seven Psychopaths

Now, when I walked out of the theater with a big stupid grin on my face after seeing this movie, my first thought was “This is a shoe-in for Best Original screenplay”, and it did not even get nominated, but that is not what makes me think it got snubbed. I understand that this is not the traditional movie that the Academy nominates, it’s too dark for the nerdy existentialists Nixon bashers to take. They ran out of the theaters calling their mothers at the first sign of non PC humor.

Seven Psychopaths

The reason that this movie got snubbed is the fact that Everyone Forgot to FUCKING SEE IT. I have talked with most of the people in my social circle and they have all said “I wanted to see that” but no one had. It is BRILLIANT, and my favorite movie of the year. It is like a cross between a Charlie Kaufman movie and The Departed. They drop peyote in the desert for crying out loud! Then you add in the hilarious performances from the cast (Sam Rockwell is soooo underrated) and you have one of the least seen, but best movies of the year…. Sam Rockwell is seriously underrated

  1. Looper

Im calling it right now; 25 years from now, Looper will hold Blade Runner status. I know that is a crazy thing to say at this point, but it was INCREDIBLE. It was seriously the best sci-fi experience that I have had for a long fucking time. It has everything, time travel, telekinesis, an awkwardly long haired Bruce Willis. It is also made for adult viewing which is refreshing. I can understand the snubbing by the academy, right around when Bruce Willis started capping off kids I thought ‘This probably won’t get much attention from the pussies at the Academy.’ Mark my words, it will be remembered as one of the greats.

  1. Ben Affleck

You have got to be fucking kidding me. The dude makes the best movie of the year and does not get a best director nomination?!  I agree he has to pay the piper for Reindeer Games, and Gigli, but I thought getting snubbed for The Town, and Gone Baby Gone was restitution enough. I will say this, he is now an elite director, he will get nominated eventually, and since the academy are such pussies they will probably feel bad for him and give him a nomination for whatever his next movie is. The movie Argo got the love it deserved by winning best picture, but Ben got bent over the academy’s table and had to reenact that one scene from Pulp Fiction we all try to forget.

  1. End of Watch

I recently saw this movie, and was blown away by how well done it was. It was the most realistic buddy cop movie that I had ever seen, and that is the one word I would use to describe it: Realistic. From its handy-cam filming style to the ‘Brokeback’ chemistry between the two leads…. I was actually waiting for Michael Pena to turn to Jake Gyllenhaal and say he wished he knew how to quit him. But of course the Academy was too busy creaming their jeans on the emotional torture porn that is ‘Amour’ to give this movie any love. (But that’s what I would expect from a bunch of David Lynch loving pussies).

End of Watch

All joking aside, this move constructed one of the most unique experiences I had at the movies. It captured the feeling of being a cop better than I have ever seen in a movie before. It also had some “HOLY SHIT” moments that made my heart pump. Excellently constructed, excellently acted, excellently snubbed.

Comment below if you disagree, I will respond, and I will tear you a new cinematic butt-hole.

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