Bad Movies We Love To Watch
The fact that I write a movie blog suggests that I am probably one of those pretentious, movie snobs who scoffs at the thought of a film without stellar acting and clever, deep writing. Flawless direction and no crummy special effects. Well, yes. But that doesn’t mean I don’t have my guilty pleasure movies. We all do. Whether it is that movie that you loved as a kid, and therefore remain loyal to it even as you begin to see its true colors. Or maybe the film that is just right down your alley, or about that story you always wanted to be converted into a film. Maybe you just like it, even though you know you shouldn’t. We all have them. Here are ten of my favorite horrible guilty pleasure movies.
In no particular order….
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
I mean, come on now. One of the coolest cartoons in history, and one of my favorite things ever is the entire premise of the Turtles. I was obsessed with them as a young kid, so needless to say the movies were like a dream come true for me. I spent hours imagining what I would do if the Turtles really existed in my life and all the cool things Michelangelo and I would say to one another. Plus, April was hot. All three of the movies were great, and with a revamp coming up I am not embarrassed to say that I might have to dust these old classics off.
Masters of the Universe
Now, this was one hell of a bad movie. But by goodness did I love it. I loved it so much, that I can’t help but love it now. The cartoons were BAD ASS, and the movie did a decent job transferring that to the big screen for young kids to enjoy. Generally, most movies that Dolph Lundgren appears in are pretty darn bad, so when he is the star of a movie you can pretty much guarantee it is going to be god awful. But I don’t care. I love it anyway. Look out for a teenage Courtney Cox as well.
Tango & Cash
This particular entry is certainly not the worst film on the list, and it is a little less guilty than others. However, the difference here is that it is not a kids movie that you once loved. It is an R-Rated attempt at a buddy cop movie, that was cheesy beyond what the human mind can fathom. However, as cheesy as it was, it was also pretty damn funny. Sylvester Stallone and Kurt Russel have a nice little chemistry, and create some genuine laughs, and there is some decent action to boot. Look out for some incredibly cliche and cheesy one-liners.
Last Action Hero
Now this is a movie that I feel gets a bad rap. One of my favorite Arnold Schwarzenegger movies, ‘Last Action Hero’ is a very strange film, but in a way it was somewhat revolutionary. I mean, it does have Arnie in it, so the acting is going to take a hit, and the premise is absolutely bizarre. A young boy magically ends up in his favorite movie, starring Arnie, but unfortunately the films horrible villain is able to do the reverse and ends up in the real world. While it seems silly, the film is actually a post-modernistic and somewhat satirical view on things, similar to what we’ve seen from films like ‘Cabin in the Woods ‘ recently. I LOVE this movie.
Another Arnie special, this one is just classic Arnold. He is a former commando, who’s daughter is kidnapped by a soldier from his past. This leads him to recapture his old tricks and go all army man on a group of crack military soldiers. Of course, the film is not exactly a lesson in realism, and a near invincible Arnold shreds his way through multiple soldiers, with crappy one-liners and big bang explosions. If you’re in the mood for some dumb fun, that is actually pretty exciting to watch, then turn off your brain and turn on ‘Commando’
The first movie to have Jean-Claude Van Damme in a starring role, ‘Bloodsport’ is basically just an excuse to watch him, and some other bad-ass dudes beat the shit out of each other with some crazy martial arts movies and violent tricks. If that’s what your into, and there are times when we all are I think, then this film is perfect for you. You can almost watch this on mute and enjoy it just about the same, which is ok if you ask me. The highlight is the last fight of the film, to the death, which is absolutely brutal but entertaining.
Ok. I’m going to be quick here. These films don’t actually fit this list to be honest, because I really don’t love to watch them. However, the premise I’m getting at is that the first film, and to an extent the next three, were so damn awesome, that you HAVE to watch these to finish off the story. These were some poor movies though man. Good lord. I mean, they had their moments, but where the first four films all mixed their gore with some clever writing and twists, these ones just lacked the clever, and went too far with the gore.
This is quite possibly the worst film I’ve ever seen. It really is. But I’ll just be honest. We’re all friends here. I mean, Demi Moore is a stripper. She does what strippers do. She’s really hot (well she was at this point). Burt Reynolds is not quite creepy enough to ruin it. That pretty much sums it up. Sorry Mom.
Now this is another movie that is really bad. But, at the same time, it is really, really good. I absolutely loved the video games back when I was a youth. They were fantastic and years ahead of their time. They are also the type of games that you just can’t film on the big screen, and expect to have yourself a credible, good movie. However, they did what they needed to, which was ignore that fact and just make their best effort at translating what people love about the game onto the movie screen. They did that, flawlessly. Full of great one liners and humor, fantastic fight scenes and ALL your favorite characters, this is the epitome of a guilty pleasure movie.
Let me ride the coat tails of my last entry, as ‘Street Fighter’ is another really bad movie, that just did a fantastic job of putting a beloved video game onto the big screen. Starring Jean-Claude Van Damme, and a number of other recognizable faces, the film is just flat out fun if you’re a fan of the games. If you aren’t you should probably avoid it. I mean, honestly we all should avoid it. But I choose not to.